


3 Seconds

by pitya_writes_stuff



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7669801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pitya_writes_stuff/pseuds/pitya_writes_stuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Three seconds were nothing.  What you could do in three seconds?  Right now it seemed like the only thing he had to cling to, because otherwise he would lose his mind.  Death had been their constant companion in recent days, in fact it had been since their first day at Starfleet.  Everyone knew the risk this job brought with it.  Yet the realization that Bones was not immortal and just as vulnerable as Jim felt like a heavy blow to his stomach.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	3 Seconds

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> This is my first work that I publish on this website and I'm so nervous, like this is my final exam! This text is an translation of a german drabble I wrote a few months ago and published on a german fanfiction website. English isn't my first language but luckily this little thing was overread by Alexandra, a good friend of mine. Thank you so much, again!  
> This drabble takes place shortly after Leonard McCoy and Carol Marcus want to defuse a torpedo in Star Trek: Into Darkness and nearly die while trying.  
> A panic attack is mentioned, but if anyone is uncomfortable with that you can simply skip that part and won't miss any important details. :)
> 
> Have fun reading! Feedback would be awesome and is very much appreciated!

The tension that had been building up in his body for more than half a minute dissolved like sugar in water. Wide-eyed Jim stared at the screen in front of him. Only three seconds. Three tiny seconds and Bones would have been dead. Blown up because of a maneuver which he had arranged. Little more than three blinks and he would have been gone, pulverized, extinguished forever.   
For a moment he thought he was going to break down, that his legs would refuse to work. He could feel Uhura's hand on his shoulder, just a light touch, but she clearly knew his whole body was trembling. He slumped his torso forward slightly to support himself and catch a quick breath. Knowing that Bones and Carol had been nearly killed made him breathless for a second. 

"Bones. Everything okay with you two? " His voice didn't sound like his own. It seemed to come from afar and was strangely paper-thin. There was a moment of silence in which Jim nearly lost his mind.   
"Jim. You've got to see this." He didn't want to. The torpedo didn't matter right now. A few hours ago Jim would've reacted differently to a discovery that could solve this whole situation currently happening around them. But now all that didn't matter.   
"Beam them up. Immediately." he said and turned around. Uhura and Spock briefly looked him, worried, each in their own way. Still breathing hard, he nodded, as a sign that he was fine, and he walked quickly from the Bridge. He was relieved that the corridor beyond was empty. He didn't want to do this in front of his entire crew. He was their captain and that meant showing strength, even if, internally he was torn apart. 

The panic that had slowly taken possession of him, now rolled over him like a cold wave. He could barely control the tremors that shook his whole body, just as his breathing. Frantically he leaned against the smooth wall to his right, trying to become master of his movements again. Nausea clouded his senses, he choked briefly and pressed his palms to his eyes, to distract himself from the nausea with pain. He sank to his knees, still pressing hands to his face. Colorful spots started to dance on his retina and his breathing rattled in and out. Three seconds were nothing. What you could do in three seconds? Right now it seemed like the only thing he had to cling to, because otherwise he would lose his mind. Death had been their constant companion in recent days, in fact it had been since their first day at Starfleet. Everyone knew the risk this job brought with it. Yet the realization that Bones was not immortal and just as vulnerable as Jim felt like a heavy blow to his stomach. 

Gradually he calmed down. The tremors subsided and he was able to sit properly, with his back against the wall. Blinking, he stared for a while into the empty space, making sure that his chest rose and fell evenly. Finally, he slowly got up and staggered towards the transport space. Jim felt better after this panic attack. A heavy weight seemed to have fallen from him, and his thoughts were clearer now. The door opened with a soft hiss and he entered the large transport room. Only Bones and Carol Marcus were present, very shocked looking, but still alive. The woman nodded briefly, smiled faintly and went out toward the infirmary to hopefully get some strong sedatives. He did not see her leaving, as his eyes were fixed on the man who stood before him. Bones was pale, his mouth twisted into a thin line. Jim didn't say anything, only looked at Bones, thanking God, chance or fate, that this was possible. 

"Jim.", murmured the doctor after a while, raising his hands a little, but he couldn't finish his sentence. Without further hesitation, Jim rushed to him and pulled him into a tight hug. One moment Bones hold his arms up in surprise, the next he wrapped them around Jim and hugged him back. Jim pressed his teeth together and clinged to his coworker, as though he wanted to put all his fear and anxiety of the past few minutes into this contact. His breathing became faster again, but this time he didn't feel like he would break down any second. As long as Bones held him nothing would bring him to the ground. The doctor seemed to feel different. Jim felt small waves of vibration driving through his body and Bones' legs buckled. He sank to the ground, still embracing Jim and breathing heavily. "Ssh, Bones, it's all right, I'm here." For a moment fingers dug painfully into his back. "Bones, I'm here, can you hear me?" 

"I-I should have been more careful. I just-i just..." Bones' teeth chattered a little and he began to stutter. "No, no please.", Jim stroked his back soothingly, a lump in his throat. "No accusations. No guilt, do you understand me?" Jim knew he was a damned hypocrite. He would feel guilty for the rest of his life for having almost killed his best friend, but he wouldn't accept it from Bones. "It's my fault.", he said quietly and his voice broke at the end. Jim pulled Bones up again and let the doctor lean his weight against him. "I promise you, I'll never send you to a godforsaken planet in order to defuse a stupid torpedo, ever again." Bones' body trembled again and for a moment Jim thought he might cry, but then he realized that it was a weak laugh, urging from the throat of his best friend. He broke away gently from Bones' arms, only to put his hands on the doctor's face and look into his warm brown eyes. Bones looked back and grimaced a little bit. 

"3 seconds." whispered Jim. 

"3 seconds." Bones croaked in response, and then rested his forehead against Jim's, eyes closed. His warm breath brushed against Jim's lips and he had to swallow. "Bones ... I ... When you were down there, and I could not help you. I ... Since I ... I do not know how I ..." Each sentence he began seemed to refuse to be completed. Everything sounded wrong. "Jim." The voice of the doctor seemed to have grown stronger and he opened his eyes again. Warm brown met brilliant blue. "Really, can't you just for one time do something instead of talking?" In a quick movement he put his hands behind Jim's neck, pulling him closer and pressed his lips to those of the other. Jim kissed back immediately.


End file.
